I was speaking to a colleague yesterday. She told me she had to take a leave after visiting her parents because she needed time to recuperate from the mental exhaustion her parents put her through. And to adjust to the fact that her brother, who stays just hours away, visited them only for a couple of days, after almost 2 years.

I told her I understand what she went through. I needed a break myself after a week with my mother because the stay was peppered with barbs, nagging, unsolicited advice and cold stretches where we were not even talking.

It's a truth universally (atleast in India) acknowledged that girls are more caring than boys. But no one talks about the dual responsibility that we, the girls end up with, caring for 2 sets of parents, while juggling our other responsibilities. The thing is, I was not raised for this. All my life, I saw my mom get bullied by my dad. She slogged like a slave. She also always visited her parents house as a guest and went annually only. This is what I saw. She told me I can avoid all this if I have a career. If I am working. Apparently she was lying.

Not only do I have to work, be the house manager and manage everything else, I also, additionally have to be responsible for my parents, like a boy. Plan holidays with them, look for the missing remote, help them pack, move, clean the fridge and cook when I visit them and even go for frequent stays.

The worst part is, there is always this lament at the end of the day that they are like this because they don't have a son....

If you are a boy/man reading this and getting offended by my words then I can only say that you must be a rarity because none of the boys I know stick around to care for their parents as well as a woman. Some men do juggle responsibilities like we do, appeasing both set of parents, doing chores, managing kids and doing grocery shopping. But it's usually for a day or two only. That's the max they can do, without getting upset.